Wednesday, 28 December 2011


.. by and large are stupid. Myself included. We all do stupid shit, every day, but it seems that some people are particularly good at it. They 'pull' on a clearly signed 'push' door. They walk slowly in front of you then stop for no reason. They drive in the right lane at 20kms under the limit in the Burnley and Domain tunnels(I fuckin hate those cunts). They stand on travelators blocking everyone. They wander down the aisle on a plane searching for their seat even though they're clearly marked. They say 'ATM Machine'.
Are you getting the idea? I'm sure you are and you can add your own fuckheadedness to that list. Yes that's a word.

Well here we are, you me, the Simpsons on the telly, my feet up and a mind full of shit spilling out through my 5 inept typing fingers.
I was at work today, talking to punters, playing tunes, surfing the web etc, and one thing kept coming back to me. People are very passionate about music. You might think you're not, but I bet you are.
I'll give you an example, I think Lady Gaga is as useful as poo covered in burnt hair and aids. Coldplay is in there as well. That's passion. Probably not the passion you were expecting, but you get that.
My favourite band of all time is Queen. So how do you think I felt when that shit truck came onto the scene using the name of one of my favourite bands songs?

I was working at Fox FM at the time, sadly I knew too much about pop culture, I had to, I'm not proud of it, but fuck, it was my job, and I was good at it. Shut up.
Anyway, she was supposed to sing at something in Sydney, I saw the vision, and I can't remember if she was miming or just fucking shit, but she lost me at that very moment. Then she went all weird for the sake of it, her songs started sounding like other peoples, uuurgh.. can't stand the thing.

Anyway, as some of you know, I host a show on Friday nights called Distortion. (you can find it on facebook) It's hard rock and metal, another love of mine, and thousands of others it seems. The support has been unbelievable and I'm both proud and stoked that I could do my bit, especially when it comes to playing great Aussie bands.

As I mentioned, there is a facebook page which is always busy with passionate rockers, which I love. One thing I don't understand is, why the hell people bag different kinds of the same genre?

People get on there and say 'Hatebreed are shit, metalcore is rubbish, Lamb of God are so much better'.
Now there's a fair chance many of you have no idea what that sentence even means, and that's cool, metal isn't everyones cup of tea, I get it. The metal genre has many sub genres, and quite often people like some, but not others, but its all crunchy guitars and huge drums, its all metal.

If you like thrash metal, and not death metal, fine, don't listen to it, but don't bag it, we're all in this together. Metal music has an unfair stigma attached to it as it is. People don't understand it, it's too loud, I can't understand what they're saying, they look evil, give me a fuckin break. Gaga is a fuckin freak show whose lyrics are completely fucked, Coldplay create dirges to slash your wrists to and people don't understand metal? Get fucked.

Tuesday, 27 December 2011


SO this is a brand new world for me, and it's gunna take me some time to get used to everything and make it reflect who I am better, ya know, pictures, backgrounds and shit like that.
Then again maybe I'll just let the words do the reflection.
First things first, the name 'Like a 16 yr old'. It's not some pervy thing so get ya head out of the gutter.
It's merely a tip of the hat to when some of us believe that we have so much to say, we have to write it down in a journal or diary.
Have you ever read back over some of the shit you put to paper from back in the day? The stuff you thought was SO deep? It's fuckin rubbish innit? Maybe you even shared your HEAVY thoughts with a girl you might've been trying to impress? I know I did. Sometimes it worked too. Most of the time it didn't.
If you've read to here you're probably wondering 'what the fuck do you have to say that's so interesting anyway fat man?'
The answer is simple.. NFI.
Could be anything, CD reviews, gig reviews, band interviews, opinions that will mostly be unfavorable and most probably insight arguments, plus much much more.
Don't worry, I'll let you know when I've thought of something worth reading, which could be a while coz so far this has been utter dribble that, if it were printed on paper, environmentalists would be up in arms at my complete disrespect for trees. Fuckin hippies. Look, don't get me wrong, I care about shit, I just don't shove it in people faces.
Religion on the other hand can get fucked. All of it. I don't believe in god, lets get that out of the way.
I don't care if YOU believe in a god, good on you, do what you like, just don't tell me I should, and we'll get along just fine.
I do care about politics, but it's another conversation that is fraught with danger. People rarely agree on it, lets me just say that I'm not impressed with the federal government as it stands right now, they are far too soft and pander to minority groups in fear of offending ANYONE. Piss Weak. Make a stand fuck ya, just coz something is factually correct, doesn't make it racist. As my T Shirt says, I'm not racist, I hate everyone equally.
So you want to talk gay marriage huh? Simple. How the fuck is it legal for a man and woman to get married (which statistically more often ends in divorce) and it's not legal for a man and a man, or a woman and a woman? It's bloody crazy! Gay marriage is a non issue, common sense should take over and make it so. Just bloody do it.
I've rambled enough. more later.